Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
