is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
