I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
