...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize