matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize