yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
