what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
