highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
