Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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