I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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