Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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