omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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