the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
