4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
