Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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