The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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