My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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