You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
