i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
