I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
