i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
