we're blogging at a bar
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
