Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
