If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
