I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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