Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm way too hungover for life right now
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
