I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
your like the ambassador to my penis.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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