I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
