If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
