drinking out of a sandbucket again
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
