So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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