That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
