where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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