sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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