when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
