i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
