i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
