C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
