Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
