when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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