I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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