question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
