I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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