friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize