mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
