I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
