I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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