he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
