Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
