hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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