call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
