Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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