YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
