I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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