I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
