But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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