I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
