Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
