the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
North Korea, Best Korea!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
