we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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